I finished the Modern Warfare 2 campaign last night. It ended firstly with a bout of screams of GO ON SHEPHERD, SCRATCH OUT HIS EYES, FINISH HIM SHEPHERD, then I reluctantly pulled a knife out my chest and threw it into the eye of the man I wanted to end the MW series forever. As the game ended my screams rose again with WHAT? WHAT? THAT'S THE END?
After my scream fest, I decided to move to the screaming-kid-centre-of-the-world, the competitive multiplayer. The gameplay is ok, but there is something that has insulted me like no other game has managed to do. These 'callsigns' you get for your soldier. I had already had a huge rage at the 'Boom! Headshot' one, knowing the classic Pure Pwnage joke was being ripped apart by moronic kids who had never heard of Counter Strike and probably thought it was made up by their favourite Bungie employee. I could feel the sweet soul of FPS Doug dying within me. However it was a different callsign that brought me to extreme rage this time. A pink one, covered in hearts. 'Companion Crate'.
My scream could be heard all across Xbox Live. Why? Why do Infinity Ward do this? Do they not see the joke is wasted on these kids? They will never play Portal. They'll never know about Companion Cube, or the torment we had to go through to put him in the incinerator, and the sleepless nights that followed. Friends in real life are one thing, but Companion Cube in Portal was the greatest companion anyone could wish for, in reality or not.
But maybe, MAYBE, it's in CoD because that's where the incinerator leads to. Maybe when we were forced against our will to drop our dear friend the Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube in that burning red tube, he goes all the way down to the Call of Duty World, or as we humans have come to know it, Hell. The weird robot lady said that 'good people don't end up here'. Well, maybe all those rubbish characters like Captain Price, Gaz, Soap, they were all in the Enrichment Centre and decided to end their lowly existences by throwing themselves in the incinerator and ending up in another shit campaign. It's certainly my idea of Hell.
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