It's an Obamanation! Or some other rubbish Obama pun!

Well I'll be damned, just a couple of days after me complaining about the many many morons in the media including the apparent second form of Jesus, Barawwwck Obamobile (who must be amazing cos he's black, and that's revolutionary and stuff, so he's the best president ever right?), claiming that video games are little hobgoblins in our homes spitting on your cutlery and raping your cheese, the big White House man has decided to cash in on the video game industry to his advantage. Don't spaz out because I insulted Obama. Good on him if he gets our lads out of Iraq, but he's not your 'brotha'.

So as I read off the source of all life, IGN, Obama has decided to use 'educational' games to convert kids from the dark side of such horrors as Viva Pinata and Beautiful Katamari and to play boring games to teach them about maths, science and other stuff they spend 5 days a week learning anyway. It's not good enough that they play games to have fun, and to do something other than school, after all that would mean education hasn't dribbled over every inch of their 'young and free' lives. Inspired by the fantastically creative Little Big Planet, he's hoping these could be a whole new area of gaming and is planning to give thousands of PS3s to libraries over the USA. For a subject he so confidently believes he knows everything about, he sure knows NOTHING.

Point number 1 Mr President, these 'educational' games have been around for longer than I've been alive. Hell, we even had Baptist Christians jumping on the video game bandwagon in the NES era, creating remarkable so-bad-it's-good-but-no-actually-bad games like Bible Buffet. When we had the tough, complex puzzle solving games like Tomb Raider, you think we were just thinking about slaughtering all those innocent tigers and bears? But the ones which were actually based on mathematical problems you had to solve to continue some boring, badly thought up quest, we didn't play them. Why? BECAUSE THEY'RE SHIT. Who cares if we play video games because we want to watch hardcore car porn (Forza 3),  relive World War II or even run over countless civilians? They're games. That's what they're for. And school is what education is for. 

Number 2, you're using PS3s, and in a library. Once the 'thousands' of PS3s has cost you 'millions' of dollars which you could be spending on getting soldiers home to their families, you've put a game console in a library. Game console. Library. Well I suppose you've got kids into one, but they won't be reading, no, they'll be flocking in their hundreds from school to try out your abysmal games/steal the controllers and generally piss about as the librarian passes out from an insane burst of manic 'shh'ing. 

Maybe America was better off being a bitterly Conservative, video game hating country. Maybe Halo 3 is a better thing to bring kids up on. Maybe...