Why? Why has gaming come to this? A whole new world of possibilities through your console and TV, and with only the need to move your fingers, yet everyone and every brand decides to jump on the moronic casual gaming motion-sensor bandwagon. Don't picture me as some fat lifeless slob because I hate those people just as much, but damn it I like my gaming because of the brilliantly small amount of physical effort I have to put in.
Gaming consoles started off with tiny controllers and simple games, and people realised this was pretty fun and expanded from there. From side scrolling to huge open worlds; all we need to do is have a little dexterity of the thumbs. And from this dexterity you can get the extremely skilled people, people who can get headshots with shotguns from 20 metres whilst jumping and turning 360 degrees in the air. Do they have to jump around and perform some incredible physical feat to do so? No, and that's the beauty of it. Nonetheless, motion-sensor gaming, in particular the little white box lurking underneath everyone's TV known as the Wii, is still a towering giant in the industry.
Oh hey! I'm like totally playing in the olympics by performing an extremely fast wanking-off action with both hands! And now I'm totally in Mortal Kombat by prancing around and punching air, getting exhausted and looking like a twat/psychotic fighting off an alter ego! Wow this is fun enough to amuse the grandparents for a good half hour, before realising that if I wanted to do some actual gaming I should have bought an Xbox or PS3...
And that's it, it SHOULDN'T be called gaming. That's endlessly swinging your arms around replicating endless things you can easily do in real life anyway, perhaps with the exceptions of Mad World and some sport ones. What's more disheartening is that from the mindblowingly huge business it makes Microsoft can't resist getting in on it too with the upcoming Project Natal, which as much as I believe breaks incredible barriers with voice and facial recognition, voice based commands and full-body-sensor gameplay, is still tinged with too much of a Wii feel and makes you think it's slightly turning away from its audience who are, for the most part, not the kind of moron that thinks the Wii is a real console. I refuse to say that the new Eyetoy is copying the Wii, as it is really a continuation of the Eyetoy for Playstation 2. It also DAMN pissed me off when the Nintendo guy said that he was 'honoured' that other brands were starting to use motion sensor when NINTENDO DIDN'T EVEN DO IT FIRST. Seeing as arcade games and even some very old plug-in-and-play games had thought of 'interact with the screen' type gaming years ago, let alone the Eyetoy, he couldn't be more wrong.
So maybe this is the future of gaming. We can watch all our glorious laziness drain away and be forgotten, only to be replaced by giggling parents and children enthusiastically turning imaginary steering wheels for Mario Kart, and weak old men accidentally flinging their controllers into their TVs whilst playing golf, eventually till everyone realises how little fun it actually is once the novelty factor wears off, resulting in this kind of gaming fades away too, and gaming will be a dead concept altogether. There, I prophesied the end of all games with Nintendo as the culprit. Even if it doesn't turn out in my fanciful way, I'm still putting my money on Nintendo ruining everything somewhere down the line.
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