Turning to the dark side... sort of.

Ok, the first iconic moments of the Console War are over, with many dead but more wounded forever, cursed to mutter about their regrettable purchase or continually hate upon the other console for all eternity until they descend into inevitable insanity and nightmares of Xboxes shitting ethernet cables on copies of Metal Gear Solid 4, or Master Chief being blown up on Little Big Planet levels. Minor skirmishes still continue on the vast plains of Youtube, but are usually quickly neutralized by the all-powerful video poster who swoops in and says 'OMG GUYZ TAKE YOUR NERDY ARGUMENT ELSEWHERE'. So I think it at this time, where we all emerge from our Microsoft-endorsed bomb shelters, that we start admitting stuff we were previously unable to say without being spammed into implosion.

I've been playing on my Xbox 360, with Live, for a year and a half, and it's been incredible. Gaming really turned around for me, cos with the PS1 and PS2 days it was just occasional thing, but now it's more of a hobby, something I look forward to, something I think about a lot, something I can write about. So I'm very thankful, and I still love it. But I also want a PS3.

I wouldn't trade Xbox Live for the world, and I still think the controllers are the best around as I don't think much of having them the size of a baby's fist so I have to play with my fingertips, but let's face it, the PS3 does what the Xbox doesn't. If you're not hugely into online, you can still get it for free. This isn't what I'd buy it for, but I'll credit it for that use. If you're really into the hi-def movies or brilliant graphics, then this is also the console you want. I don't want those either, but many will. What I want is the exclusives. The Xbox ones are far from inadequate, Gears of War, Left 4 Dead, Mass Effect, Forza, Alan Wake and Halo still has its moments but the PS3s are just as good. MGS4, which is pretty much THE game of this generation along with Fallout 3 and GTA IV, Little Big Planet for the kid in you, Killzone for the kind of multiplayer Call of Duty could have been but failed to be, the amazing God of War series... must I go on? It's also going to have Alan Wake biggest rival game, Heavy Rain, which I am painfully interested in for its completely original take on gaming, making a much more in-depth storytelling experience and not relying on the same old GUNZ GUNZ MULTIPLAEYIR GRENAYDEZ HEDSH0T to make something entertaining. 

I could play all those for hours. Not at the expense of my Xbox Live and its games, but DAMN I so want one as well. Not to mention an HD TV. And some decent speakers. And a decent chair. I need some money.

Embarrassing Evangelism Strikes Back

I'd like to start off by saying that yes, there is a possibility that these were paid guys as part of a publicity stunt as rumours have said, however in America, this sort of thing happens. A lot. Remember Westboro Baptist Church? They also have some videos that might convince you otherwise at www.youtube.com/wearesavedgroup .

Dante's Inferno is looking good. One of the first well-made games to be based on classic writings (I'm sure there were a lot of god-awful Odyssey games on the NES or something) and despite it being written by a Christian from a Christian perspective, we still have the over-confident evangelical Christians in America who seem to think banning a game doesn't contradict something called 'freedom of speech' and 'freedom of expression'. Look, if we're damned to an eternal burning fest because we played a game in which we fought for God against his enemies, then I think we were screwed the moment we dared to breath his air. You're quite right, freaky obsessively-chewing Christian with Parkinsons, in Dante's Inferno he does kill someone with a crucifix. Though of course, not only are they already dead as they are in HELL, surely they also deserve it, because THEY'RE IN HELL. And don't say the crucifix 'isn't a weapon'. What was it originally used for? Look it up.

Nor will I go into their comment of 'this makes people think they can just go into hell and shoot people up', I think I adequately described my feelings of that kind of bullshit in my 'Where to look for the meaning of life...' post. If ya want freedom of speech, prepare to be offended if you're going to take it serioulsy. It's that or boring, mandatory religion and no good games.

Watch the video of their protest here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJgCh_eQ6NI&feature=fvw . Think it's a hoax? You make up your mind.

EDIT: It was revealed a few days after that it was a hoax. Cheeky EA.

The VGA Awards 2009

Unfortunately, despite this being the main thing I wanted to watch this year as it's about the only event/award show I can bear to watch, we don't have SPIKE in the UK, so I couldn't. I got the results on the site, though, and damn am I pleased.

Hoo-bloody-ray. It appears the gaming experts haven't completely lost their coconuts. Modern Warfare 2, the most overrated game ever to be spoken of, was not awarded Game of the Year for Xbox 360, or PS-Triple, or Overall GOTY. It also didn't win best graphics, and Infinity Ward didn't win Studio of the Year (rightly seeing as there are sooo many Studios who work harder and more efficiently, dare I say it BUNGIE), so I'm definitely happy with that. They DID win Best Shooter and Best Multiplayer, but it really doesn't bother me too much as: Best Shooter basically means yet another generic FPS bent to entertain the mindless kids, and Best Multiplayer didn't have great nominess, except Left 4 Dead 2 which utilises co op, in my opinion the best kind of multiplayer as it forces you to work as a team, not for selfish reasons.

Game of the Year - Xbox 360: Left 4 Dead 2

Game of the Year - PC: Dragon Age: Origins

Game of the Year - PS3: Uncharted 2

Game of the Year - Overall: Uncharted 2

Not much more I can say for those winners apart from congrats. Left 4 Dead 2 is a definite improvement on a fantastic formula - arguably the best co op experience of all time - and I haven't played Uncharted 2 but it looks like a brilliantly original and a great addition to the Adventure genre. Dragon Age: Origins, well done, but I really can say nothing for it as the Fantasy RPG genre doesn't appeal to me one bit.

Looking forward to next year's VGA, I hope to see Bad Company 2 winning Best Multiplayer, Heavy Rain for PS3' GOTY and hooopefully Fallout New Vegas for Xbox 360's, but I can't rely on Obsidian making it amazing. Best RPG FFXIII? Maybe...

Find all the info here: http://www.spike.com/event/vga2009/page/vote/category/34723

The Games of 2010

Ok it turns out 2010 is going to be a monster of a year, and my article on 'a great year to disappoint' had only a fraction of the stuff coming out that I'm at least interested in. Now I'm not great at remembering lists so I'm really using this as a place to jot them all down before I forget.

These are all games I will be buying/renting/looking into, in no particular order.

1. Mass Effect 2
2. Just Cause 2
3. BAD COMPANY 2
4. Max Payne 3
5. Red Dead Redemption
6. Alan Wake
7. Halo Reach, maybe
8. FALLOUT NEW VEGAS
9. Dante's Inferno
10. Dead Rising 2
11. Gears of War 3?
12. Crysis 2
13. Mafia II
14. Project Natal
15. Final Fantasy XIII
16. I Am Alive
17. Aliens VS Predator

That's more than one game for every month. Happy gaming/money draining...

It's official: Assassin's Creed II is trying to kill me and take my non-existent kids.

Anyone who's played the frankly brilliant Assassin's Creed II will know there is definitely one annoying thing. It's not mission repetitiveness, not the lack of ability to swim, not awful cutscenes; they fixed those faults of the first game. It's those bloody feathers. 

Yes, Ubisoft were kind enough to free us of the God-forsaken flag collectibles of Assassin's Creed, but couldn't resist twisted the knife as they took it out of the wound by giving us a different type of collectible: FEATHERS. Ooh, cos like, Assassins and eagles and stuff... yeah, makes sense. Problem is, although these tend to actually exist unlike many of the flags in the first game which just wouldn't be there at all, it's still almost impossible to get all of them. They're a lot smaller and all 100 of them are scattered widely over the whole game. But that isn't my big deal. My big deal is that I have 99 of them.

I'll admit it, I'm an Achievement whore. I have 960g from Assassin's Creed II, leaving the 30g achievement for all 100 feathers, and the 10g for wearing the Auditore Cape WHICH CAN ONLY BE OBTAINED FROM GETTING ALL 100 FEATHERS. I've used maps from the internet to scour beautiful Florenzia and bella Venezia, and all the smaller towns. 99. 1 feather is out there. I've missed it, and I don't know where. On Friday 11th December I was feather hunting for 6 hours. On the 12th, feather hunting for another 4. By the end I was near hallucinating, dreaming of 'if the feather would give us a feast when we found it' and wondering 'what the feather would taste like'. I ate my dinner but all I saw was a pile of feathers were steak and chips should have been. It's one of the most maddening experiences gaming has shat on me. I feel betrayed. 

One day Ubisoft might make collectible hunting at least possible by adding them as dots on the map, and just having more of them or putting them in tough places to keep the challenge. Until then, I'll just drool over Google Image's results on feathers.

The situation with the 'to be played' games. 10/12/2009

Old ass meme from a terrible place, but dammit every time I think of Louis from L4D I just think of P-P-P-P-P-PA PILLZ HERE!

So yeah I had said that list of 7 games would be over the course of 3 months. However it's magically happened a lot faster.

1. Left 4 Dead - bought, completed, testing multiplayer.
2. Batman: Arkham Asylum - borrowed, but yet to be played.
3. The Orange Box - Borrowed, played a bit, but somewhat pushed aside for Left 4 Dead and completing the shit out Assassin's Creed II.
4. Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising - fuck it. I don't care what happens in those last two missions, it's not going to make the game suddenly good. I went ahead and reviewed it.
5. Mass Effect - getting one way or another very soon, either Christmas or soon after.
6. Shadow of the Collossus - the only one which isn't going to be gained particularly soon, getting the X360 games done and played first.
7. Borderlands - when I'm done with most of the above lot, I'll be buying it.

Reviews will be coming in for the top 3 soonish.

Reviews: http://failboatskippersgamereviews.blogspot.com/

At this rate, we'll be lucky to see the Locust finally wiped out by Christmas... 2097.

Whipped this up in a couple of minutes...

Apparently (though a million miles from MY ears) there has been rumours circulating these bunch of wires and 'series of tubes' known as the internet that Gears of War 3 would only be released on the next generation of gaming, the Xbox 720 as the whole idiot population assumes it will be called (yes, DOUBLING 360 makes sense, because doubling the previous number is what ALL consoles do, PS1, PS2, PS4, PS8). My reaction apart from 'damn, that'll be ages away' was really disgust. Next generation? So we can't have more than two in a series in one generation anymore?

I understand the reason for EPIC's President's claim that it would be next-gen would be that it would likely be on the Unreal 4 Engine which is still in development. But has it really come to the point that a) you can't have one part of the dev company working on the engine and the other on the actual product b) technology for games is now so complex we have to wait a lifetime for every sequel. If any of you played the Army Men games on PS1, you might remember they churned out completely original and fun (despite being horrible graphically) games every couple of months. Yes, it is going to be different in this generation, but 2 years should be a maximum. If better graphics and better engines really take that long, the ends aren't justifying the means.

Keep in the mind the next Xbox is going to be bloody miles away. We're talking at least 4 years away. 4 years for a sequel? That is simply a joke. It is turned out that way they'd probably try to keep the fans happy with some spin-off in the meantime, and we all know what spin-offs turn out like... 'Oh you get to play as Anya, pressing buttons and telling the squad where to go. It's a squad-based RTS'. Can you imagine?

I don't care if the storyline turns into a mess, or if the whole squad die by tripping up on their laces, just finish it, EPIC. There's no sense making it this long if Gears 1 came out in 2006, and Gears 2 in late 2008.